May 29, 2008

Short broads. They’re the best. If you’ve been keeping up with these bloggeroos, you might remember the types of women I go for: Brazilian, Ukrainian, South African, Canadian [the further North, the better], short, and Wisconsin. I didn’t say that the list was in order, though. Truth be told, short is at the way top of the list, while Ukrainian is actually really far down. That being said, if I found a short Ukrainian dame, I wouldn’t kick her out of my sleeping bag (for some reason, I can’t find my bed again – if you’ve seen it, give me a call). For me, short is where it’s at and this little entry is a tribute to short girls everywhere. I wrote them a poem.

Short Girl
By Creed Bratton
Ooh, mama, with your tiny little legs
You’re like a dachsund
In human form
And that makes you okay
In my book

I want to throw you up into the air
Like a ball of shortness
And catch you when you fall down
And put you into my jacket pocket
That I have lined with pillows and string cheese

Yeah, mama, you’re small and nice
In those little lady clothes
That you wear so well
You could be a minus-sized fashion model
And that’s the truth

Short girl
You make my day

That’s my ode to the shorties. They deserve it. Keep reaching for the sky, short girls, and if you can’t reach it, I’ll lift you up.