May 24, 2007

The worst part about Raisin Bran is the bran. Hands down.


I saw a man fishing bottles out of a garbage can yesterday and it reminded me of a funny story.


I don’t like hockey. They should get rid of the pucks and put those shoe blades on their sticks – then you’d have a game on your hands.


To be a good pick pocket, you’ve got to look like a regular Joe. Don’t dress up in fancy colors or jewelry. That’s where the Gypsies have it wrong. Pair of slacks, t-shirt, hat – that’s all you need. And it helps to have tiny hands, too.


I’ve had enough of this LBJ character.


If I had to pick between a chimp and a spider, I’d take the chimp. Harder to forget where you left it.


Reminder: Michael’s safe combo: 26-22-30.