December 6, 2007

With the exception of brawling, I haven’t been much of a sports fan for a long time now. That all changed on Monday night after work. I was hanging out near that new Xavier Center by Scranton Prep looking for scrap building materials (the darkness gives me a better shot at scoring some of that sweet, sweet copper). After a few minutes, I started hearing all kinds of hooting and hollering coming from inside, so I wandered over to investigate. For a second, I hoped it was going to be a piñata festival. I had a dream once about being in the middle of a piñata festival and I’ve been waiting for it to come true. Lord knows I love hard candy.


Sadly, it wasn’t a piñata festival. I can’t say I was surprised though. I’ve been hoping for it for so long that I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I just accept the fact that one day, when I least expect it, I’m going to walk into a giant auditorium and people are going to be popping colorful papier-mâché burros and swimming in delicious hard candy.

Instead of a piñata festival, I found a varsity girls’ basketball game. I almost walked right out, but the game drew me in like a tractor beam. I was hooked right away. Those elegant ladies were taking the game back to its fundamentals without any of the flash or razzle-dazzle that the boys play with these days. It was a thing of beauty. Every pass, every shot, every dribble – I felt like I was watching a symphony: A symphony of overly tall girls making the most of their awkward height.


I stayed for the entire game. When it was all over, I was so fired up that I got in the high-five line with both teams. Some of the spectators thought it was strange, but most everyone thought I was somebody’s senile grandfather so they just smiled and laughed. You’d be amazed at the things I can do because people assume I’m senile, but the joke’s on them because I’m nowhere close to senile yet.


That one game showed me that grace and style and raw emotion have not disappeared from the sporting world. If you ask me, high school girls’ basketball is where it’s at.