August 30, 2007

Most people have a thing against bugs, but not me. I love the little guys. The way I see it, there’s more of them than there are of us, so you have to respect them just in case. If they ever got their stuff together, they could really do some serious damage. I’m talking city destruction, livestock relocation, and political domination here.


If I had to pick my favorite bug it would have to be a spider. They’re creepy as all hell but real smart, too. I lived in a barn once and there was this one spider who I made friends with. Real classy dame of a spider. We’d talk about life and love and music. She was really into Jefferson Airplane. After our talks, I’d fall asleep and wake up to find little messages written in her web and that’s how I formally learned to read.


I wonder if land insects ever get jealous of the flying ones. I bet they do. If I saw a man flying around while I had to walk around like an idiot, I’d be jealous. I’d shoot that guy down the first chance I got.


In the late 70’s I tried to get into Flea Circusing. It’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. I bought a group of fleas from my pal Gerry and he told me they all had previous circus experience, but it was a total rip-off. They couldn’t do any tricks at all. At least not that I could see. Maybe they were just camera shy. Whatever it was, they pretty much just sat there, so I dumped them in the creek behind my hostel.


People have to stop saying “that bugs me.” It’s racist.