Boy do I have a story to tell. You know how I was keeping track of Michael’s safe combo? Well it finally came in handy. I was trolling…

I want to say I was about four years old when I fell in love with music. My memory’s not great, so it could have been anywhere between…

I spend a lot of time in the library. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not there for the books. Books are for table balancing and throwing at birds….

We’re having a party at work tomorrow to celebrate “08/08/08 Day,” which is great because I’ll be able to eat enough that I won’t have to buy food…

Why is it so impressive to sleep on a bed of nails? There’s obviously a trick to it that makes it not hurt. I think the real challenge…

I’m Batman. At least that’s what I tell women in bars after a few rounds. It’s a great pick-up line because they have no way of knowing if…

I’ve been trying something new lately and it’s really put a new spin on how I go through my days. Instead of waking up ten minutes before work…

One of my great joys in life is going to the car wash. Some people may think of it as a hassle, just another chore in their already…

The 4th of July is tomorrow and some would say it’s the greatest American holiday. Not me. I think America Day beats the pants off of the 4th…

I’ve always liked uniforms. When I was a kid, I wore sailor suits every day until I was eight. People called me Captain Crapstick because of how I…